"Oximoron"

I hate that I love you,
But there's nothing I can do
cause all I think about is you,
and when I remember
I'm not thinking of you
the thoughts of you continue

You're the first thing I think about when I wake up,
and the last thing I think about when I go to bed
I think about you when my eyes are open and when they are closed
I can't get you out of my head, I suppose.

You're nothing and everything I asked for,
I want nothing and everything to do with you
you can tell yourself one thing
but your heart can't deny what is true
sometimes it's hard to admit certain things,
like how much I really love you.

Choose Your Fate

Here's the scenario. It is a dark and rainy night, and you are driving down a road. You eventually arrive at a bus stop and there are 3 people at the bus stop.There's A Dieing old women, an old friend of yours that you haven't seen in years, that you owe a favor to, and the man/woman of your dreams. Knowing that your sports car can only carry 2 people(1 driver & 1 passenger), what do you do?

Do you take the dieing old woman to the hospital to save her life?

Do you pick up your friend that you haven't seen in years, and pay him back for the favor you owe him?

Or do you choose the man/woman of your dreams. But if you don't choose the man/woman of your dreams, then you will never meet him/her ever again.

There is only one correct answer. For this riddle you have to think "outside the box".

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The correct answer is since your car can only carry 2 passengers that you would give your friend the keys to your car so he can take the dieing old woman to the hospital, and you would wait at the bus stop with the man/woman of your dreams.

"Push And Pull"

They Say be careful because you just might get It.
Well I got what I wanted so why don't I feel any better?
I didn't believe you when you said you wanted to be friends,
I thought it was all pretend, so I got my revenge.

But it was I who was pretending
To hate you to conceal the way I really feel
And even though our friendship was fake
My feelings for you are real.

I had to push you away because I didn't want to get to close to you
and make things worse than they already are.
I may have pushed you way to far
and now it's far too late
to get along now cause it's me you hate

Now I'm trying to pull you back in
so we can begin again.
All I want is for you to be where you belong,
Here in my arms
Would you ever see that it's me for you, and you for me
with no other way for we to be?
I guess we'll find out eventually.

"Through With You"

I wrote this poem when I was in a mad state of Mind and I just needed to do something to vent all my frustration, and because I wanted to capture the way I felt at that moment.


With you I've had enough,
Cause I'm tired of hearing all your bluffs.
You use your looks and lust to gain guys' trust,
But you don't care about them,
All you care about you is yourself, and no one else.
Yet you pretend to care,
But in your voice, insincere is what I hear.
You should win the award for "Bitch Of the Year"
If reading this brings a tear to to your eye,
Then you know why
I have so much frustration
Just think of this as your own medication.

I'm having a weak week.

Yesterday I blogged about my deathtrap of a car, and how I got into an accident. Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse,later that day, I found out that I wouldn't be able to play in my school's first Badminton game of the season, against Mt. Eden. Ironically, I was late for practice yesterday because I needed to go to the hospital to pick up my physical so I could be eligible to play in today's game, but my coach tells me that I didn't have the grades to play in the game. I told him that I already asked my teacher if she made a grade correction, and she said she did. Then my coach told me that it still says I have a "F" instead of a "C"in the computer, so I wouldn't be allowed to play. So today I went to my teacher's room to straighten everything out. There was a substitue, so I went to my counselor. After waiting almost the whole lunch period, I was sent to another office where they could actually change my grade. It turns out my teacher sent a request to change my grade, but it had not been processed yet. I just hope I'll be able to play in next week's game and use my new Yonex Armortec 500.

Rolling Death Trap! = The Death Of Me

It all started in September, when my 1994 Ford Explorer started haveing trouble with its transmission... again. Somtimes when I step on the gas in my car the transmission doesn't grab (go into the right gear), and I usually get stuck until It finally does grab. I had the same problem with my car last year, and I got it fixed, but I didn't want to deal with it again, so I decided to ask my parents if we can get the transmission fixed or get me a Nissan 240sx, which I've been wanting for years. All ,my parents said was wait until we come back from the Philippines in January.

Over the next few months my car's transmission slowly got worse from driving it daily, to and from school, and having to use it to pickup my dad from his work in Palo Alto, on the weekends. A friend of mine was thinking about selling his car ('91 240sx), so I asked my parents if we could just buy my friend's car instead of fixing the Explorer's transmission. My parents said we couldn't buy the car yet, because we didn't have much money after our trip to the Philippines, which was understandable.

Now let's fast forward to the middle of Febuary. I come home after my Badminton practice and none of my family was home so I called my mom to find out where everyone is at. I found that my parents decided to buy a brand new 42'' flat screen t.v. to put in their master bedroom. Two weeks go by and still have trouble with my transmission, and pissed that my parents bought a t.v. instead of fixing my car, I decided to talk to my parents about my car. I asked them if my friend decides not to sell his car if we can buy a new car. My parents told me we couldn't buy a new car because the insurance will cost more. Then I told them that the insurance would go up if we didn't get the transmission fixed, that I might get into an accident. Then two days later, on my way to school, as I was turning into the parking lot a motorcycle hits the side of my car. I'm hoping this will help my parents realize I need a new car.

Hi, My Name is Ryan

If you couldn't tell by the title, my name is Ryan, I'm 18, and a Senior at Tennyson High School. I'm into Japanese cars, anime, music, and videogames.My xbox live gamertag is AkumaShinigami. But aside from videogames I also like to play Badminton, even though I suck at it.

I tend to be quiet and shy, but that's because I usually don't have anything to say or add to a conversation. Since I don't really talk alot, I like to write poerty as a way of collecting my thoughts, and as a way to express the way I feel into words.